Today was a very difficult day. Today I lost a dear, long time friend.
My friend was a giant pine tree. He has stood sentinel at the front corner of our house since well before we moved here 24 years ago. I always viewed this tree as a protector, guarding us quietly as it stood in majestic beauty. But the years took their toll, and he began to die a couple of years ago. Even so, it was so very hard to say goodbye! I love my trees, they have taught me so much. They have shown me you have to stand strong and tall, and hold your ground, but also be flexible enough to bend with the storms.
Next spring, we will plant another pine in his honor. I have saved a bit of the wood, not sure if I will be able to carve it, but maybe I can make a couple things. I would like to make a turned bowl, I saved a nice sized slice. I cannot think of any other way to honor this tree who has watched over us all these years.
Goodbye, old friend. I will always miss you.
Our 46th wedding anniversary is Oct 2. As I get older, thoughts of my mortality are more frequent. Thoughts of death are never happy, but these days, for some reason, the words of W H Auden linger in my mind--(paraphrased)
He (is) my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song
These words, written so long ago, so perfectly sum up my feelings towards my husband of 46 years. Wade is, and has always been, EVERYTHING to me. He lifts me, he defines me, he is part of my very soul. Without him, I am not complete. We have shared 46 years together--actually more, if you consider the time were were together before we got married. We met in high school, when we were both 16. He breathes in, I breathe out--this is how it is. When he is with me, I can face anything. I love this man so purely, so completely, and I cannot conceive of a life without him in it. I actually pray that I die first, because I KNOW I cannot live without him.
"If you should go before me, dear, walk slowly down the ways of death, well worn and wide--
for I would want to travel quickly, and seek the journeys ending by your side.
I would be so forlorn not to find you on that shining highroad as I came--
Walk slowly dear, and often look behind you, and pause to hear if someone calls your name".
With ALL my love, Jenny
