Thursday, October 16, 2014

What Did YOU do today?

Today I wanted to work on my hooking--

the house was clean, the laundry was all done, it was supposed to be a day just for me!  

My body had other plans.

You see, I live with not one, but TWO "invisible" illnesses--Lupus, and Fibromyalgia.

No matter what I might want to do, or might plan on doing, my body has the final say.  I may want to spend the day hooking and listening to music, but instead I must obey the master named Chronic Pain, and basically do nothing.  If I cannot lift my arms, and my shoulders are in stabbing pain, then I cannot hook.
Or do much of anything.
I call these days "couch days", which are MUCH preferable over "bed days".  At least I can get to the bathroom without my cane.  At least I can feel PARTLY normal.  I can look forward to another day when my pain levels are not so high.  These are the days I cannot do much more than THINK, because thinking doesn't add to my physical pain.  So these are the days I plan what I will do on my "good days".

Be kind to people.  So many people are fighting a daily battle with chronic pain illnesses,  and to look at us, you would never know it.  Our pain is invisible, but it is real.  Imagine having a really bad flu that never goes away.  Remember how it felt to hurt everywhere, and feel exhausted, and not be able to do anything about it?  This is the daily reality of Fibromyalgia.  It never goes away.  You have some days when it is not so bad, and some days where it is completely debilitating.  But the pain is always there, in one degree or another.   Your mind does not control your body--your body dictates what level of "living" is acceptable at any given moment.  You learn to accept this, and plan ahead--lots of books on my Kindle, lots of apps like Netflix so when these days hit, I can still have something to do. 
This still doesn't make it GOOD, it makes it managable.  
Except for those days when the pain is really severe, and you just want it over.  Not that you want to die, you just want to get away from the pain for a while. 

I would not wish this illness on anyone.  Even my worst enemy.

If you were able to have a normal day today, you are blessed.  Please think about that.  Because I would trade places with you in a heartbeat.  If you can stand long enough to wash a pile of dirty dishes, do you realize how lucky you are?? 

1 comment:

  1. I do feel your lupus, but horrible fibro. Looking for help but just can't seem to find any!